Building an independent future
Many parents and professionals working with children, look for theories, tools, techniques, insight and information that helps them support the development of children and young people. This support will hopefully enable the children to reach their full potential and learn how to establish long term relationships and build towards an independent future.
However, this style of positive parenting is a relatively recent approach and considers parents and guardians to be co-therapists in resolving any difficulties with their children or within the home. It offers them the possibility of becoming agents of change and understanding for them and the wider family. It also allows them to regain confidence in their parenting skills and abilities.
But children do not come with a step by step guide or manual, so the growth of parental coaching shows the importance parents are giving to better understand how to build towards an independent future for any children within the family and support for an education system that best suits their hopes and long term parenting goals.
Coaching to help find a solution
We know adolescence can be a driving force of change within the home and may result in a turbulent time for a young person, but also the people around them. Confronted with these changes within their child, many parents and guardians can feel lost or disoriented. Many will recognize this can be a difficult time, and will want to fully support their child and family through this process, but may fear they will overlook any underlying issues or problems. This may also drive them to seek professional guidance from a coach or therapist.
If you are approached by a parent or guardian looking for support to develop positive parenting techniques, it is important to first clarify if the focus of the coaching will be towards the young person or the parent. Parents and guardians can often seek this type of professional help for themselves if they are questioning their parenting style, starting to experience conflict within the home or if they are simply trying to understand how to support their child to have the confidence to live an independent future.
In 1958, the British Psychologist John Bowlby first formulated an attachment theory that explores separation anxiety and the distress children experience when separated from their primary caregiver or attachment figure.
Within this attachment theory, infant behavior is primarily associated with seeking proximity to an attachment figure in stressful situations. Infants will normally become attached to adults who within social interactions, they feel are being sensitive or responsive to them, and are seen as consistent caregivers from the first six months to two years of age.
However, positive parenting can also help during the latter part of this period, as children begin to use the attachment figures as a secure base, so they can safely go off and explore but then return to them when ready or in need or reassurance.
The long term development of a child’s attachment is essential to the human species, as it is for other primates, where they are born vulnerable and remain so for many years. The attachment figure functions as a safe haven, or a source of comfort and protection in the face of any environmental threat until the child feels safe and ready to explore the possibility of having an independent future.
To fully support you as a professional coach and any work you are doing with parents and guardians, we have published an ebook to help improve communication and understanding within the family home. Plus a printed card game called ‘Feelin Cards – Let your moods speak’ if you would like to try something a little more creative.
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