Homelife got complicated
Living in a home with different generations can be difficult, but has been made even harder when so many people have been self-isolating and social distancing.
The confinement has also accentuated the patterns that we see in many family homes, especially where the parent or guardian is unable to support home studies or homework, so homelife got complicated.
But with the return to school, many young people will once again have a regular routine to their day and opportunity to spend time away from the home with their friends. However some have been worried about the new restrictions being put in place and may need some additional support to adjust to these new ways of learning.
Many parents do recognize this can be a difficult time, especially on top of navigating adolescence. So they want to fully support their child through this process and may fear they will overlook an underlying problem. They will therefore seek the guidance of a specialist coach or therapist. The need for support does not necessarily mean the parent feels the child is not coping well, but they may themselves want support to navigate the changes taking place.
Some questions parents often ask:
- How can I support my child return to school if they are worried?
- How do I avoid a crisis?
- Can I stay connected with my child?
- How can I make positive changes to our relationship?
- When will my child know themselves and what they are interested in?
- Will my child become a balanced adult?
- How can we tell if my child is really doing well or having difficulty?
- When should I be worried?
Check who needs the most help?
If approached by a parent or guardian looking for support because homelife got complicated, it is important to first clarify if the focus of the coaching will be towards the young person or the parent. Parents and guardians can often seek professional help for themselves if they are questioning their parenting style or if they are starting to experience conflict within the home.
They may also seek help for a child if they are finding it difficult to talk and communicate. However if there is violence or ongoing conflict within the home, you will need to ensure you have the tools or experience needed to coach in this type of environment, or if you need to redirect the adult and child to a specialized therapist.
We therefore recommend an initial 60-90-minute consultation with the parent, parents or guardian to fully understand the family dynamics and environment in which the young person lives. Use this time to clarify the goals and advise parents on the stance to be held throughout the time support is provided to their child.
It is not necessary for you to have your own children to coach young people, because as a professional coach you are trained in many different coaching techniques. However it can be helpful if you have a background in education or psychology. Always discuss your approach with the parents and explore a range of different tools and techniques to see what delivers the best results.
Benefits of coaching young people
Many young people are perceived by adults as being rebellious and sometimes a little lost. But working with a coach to explore ways to defend their values with conviction or question the rules can be very rewarding.
If they are offered an attentive and non-judgmental ear, they will normally react positively to coaching because they appreciate the following:
- A clear framework and its boundaries
- Ability to define their needs and learn to express them
- Assert themselves as an individual
- Learn to make decisions and difficult choices
- Feel rewarded for setting goals and achieving them
- Time to take a step back from situations or problems they face
Supporting a young person when homelife got complicated, really starts by helping them to understand what they can (and want to) achieve in as they go through adolescence. This can be achieved by focusing on the current situation and moving towards a specific goal, built jointly with the coach and parents or guardian if appropriate.
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To support your coaching sessions with young people, we have published a range of ebooks, kits and games:
Coaching Young People: This 12 page ebook was designed to help when coaching young people or supporting parents to understand the changes taking place during adolescence.
Academic Coaching: This 14 page ebook was designed to help when delivering academic coaching or supporting students to identify and understand their individual learning style.
The coaching manual: Comprehensive coaching manual with over 150 questions, plus fables, worksheets and tools for a successful coaching session. This manual also includes an introduction to Neuro Linguistic Programming and Transactional Analysis.
Content is constantly being added to the site, so please check our on-line shop. Or read some of the other blog posts written by our team of international coaches.
Image: Thanks to Naassom Azevedo for sharing their work on Unsplash.
Please note – Our materials can only be copied and distributed, if you include a reference and link to the original source: (cc) MyCoachingToolkit.com – 2020